i tot this was a teen flick initially and not wanting to watch it.. but seeing that it has gane quite a bit of positive reviews and no other good shows screening, so watch it with my jie jie. it feels kinda of wierd initially because this is really like the first date with my godsis.. i mean i went out with her before but usually there would be others.. this time, its more like a date.. anyway, i think we both enjoyed the movie. i tot the movie was beautifully shot, artistic in a kind of way.. glad i appreciate it that way.. anyway both me and godsis enjoyed the ending song whereby edward and bella danced to the slow tune... so nice!

finally got the name of the song too.. Flightless Bird, American Mouth. still couldnt decipher such a name and the lyrics totally got me lost.. but who cares.. its a beautiful song anyway.. promised to find it for jie jie.. will do that..

ok..more personal things here. i think godsis thinks i'm courting her. lol. i think she hinted no less than 3 times why I asked her out.. do gers really think that when a guy ask u out, thats because he is interested in you? actually, i jus enjoyed the company and nothing else. she is my Godsis.. well i clarify that to her when i send her home.. i hope she got my meaning.. she will be my lovable jie jie and hopefully, it stays this way.. Friends are forever but lovers might not last.. thats how i feel..

PD Dept first gathering dinner at T3 Azur


PD 2nd Dinner gathering at M Hotel..


Together with the bull

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

as i was on leave on fri bcos i have no mood to work recently.. holiday mood i guess. however, i still manage to squeeze out some time to visit Ren Ci Hospital to do some social work, a charitable event organised by my Co. I guess it really makes the day of the residents living in the hospital when we visit them. they are lonely old folks yearning for that little bit of attention from us.. sometimes, one only realise how blessed they are when they are able to GIVE than TAKE.. i know this theory since i was quite young but i always forgotten abt it.. but i never fail to remind myself about how fortunate life is to me when i was called upon to perform voluntary acts... so thanks to my Co. I'm able to contribute back to the society..

we just conduct simple acts like singing songs to the residents and bringing them some desserts and they can be so happy.. sometimes, life is just about simple acts of kindness, nothing too complicated.. this is how u learn to appreciate life..

Well for now, I'm just thankful with everything i got.. only when u learn to treasure then u truly possess...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Angel of Mine.~

recently i watched a korean drama and one phrase really struck me hard.. its says "if you can't love me, then at least use me.." at first, i thought it sounds really pathetic but on second thoughts, i really begin to think it sounds greatness. this is what true love really is about even if the other party dun really appreciates you.. i mean, as long as u did your part, the rest u really have to leave it to fate rite.. i mean there are so many things you cant control in life and there is really no happiness in forcing things to happen... the more u want something, u could find it drifting further away from you.. this is something i learn.. See, one do matures with age.. lolz.

ok.. i'm really looking forward to next tue.. YES! i finally arrange a movie date with my godsis which I mentioned in my last entry how feminie she has turned out recently.. i guess nothing much will happen but just a relaz and peaceful date with my godsis.. counting down the days.. lolz.

Richieously Yours,
Richard

I miss you~

i must say one thing.. time really heals all wounds.. well almost any wounds.. i'm feeling really great now. haha.. i can find the cheery me back again..

met up with upsers on fri (19 Dec)... i must say its a great feel to be with the guys again. the only thing i miss back with ups is the group of sincere frenz i made.. so i must say its a wonderful feeling to be close with my frenz again.. :) anyway, my godsis was there also.. i must say she look GORGEOUS.. haha. sexy. :p must go out with her more liao..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

A Holly, Jolly X'mas.~

u have made your most heartless choice yet.. i fully understand what you are trying to do now.. if this is the way its going to end, i have no choice but to accept it.. i hope you will be happy making this choice.. be happy...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Will you still love me tomorrow.. ~

i always tot that I have good self control.. but it seems i over-estimated myself.. i am so stupid to allow myself to be controlled by my emotions.. this shows that I'm weak. I dun like to be potrayed as weak.. i hate to be weak.. but each time i try to drag myself away from misery, it just seems like a vacuum which keeps dragging me deeper into the abyass of despair, desperation.

hell. wat am i suppose to do.. i cant do this to myself anymore.. i must be strong.. I can only keep repeating this to myself..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

~Last X'mas, I gave U my Heart. But U forsaken it.~

i'm a perfectionist.. i'm always trying to seek perfection.. i know nothing in this world is perfect. its a know fact. however, my headstrong character forbids me to believe this fact. thats why i'm always harbouring impossible dreamz.. dreamz they may be but it is dreamz that make life beautiful and mysterious..

however recently, i've begun to be enlightened by a new thinking.. the only way to seek perfection is to accept imperfection, only then, you will seek perfection. 'Chim' it may sound but somehow, i'm beginning to have a brief idea of what this means.. while the perfectionist in me refuse to embrace this idea, the realistic me knows that this is so true..

well, they do say Pisces are dreamers isnt it..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Starry Starry night~

they say that when you are down the most, frenz will be there to lend you their support, either knowingly or unknowlingly.. thanks to my 2 lady frenz, i've managed to enjoy myself and forget the problems that plagued me recently.. anyway i've got over it and life has to go on.. i no longer care.. i can be a heartless bas**** if i want to.. and if i feel really pointless.. so now yes i can safely say i'm back to the cold me.. no matter what you said or do, i wont care as much as before.. care as a fren.. maybe 'yes' but nothing more.

I'm listenting to the album Angela Folk Acoustico.. its very peaceful and soothing.. the style i like where i can listen to my inner heart and sort my thoughts out..

More time now on the 'secret prize' which I've shared in my last post.. things are developing slowly but yet surely.. i prefer to take things slow.. one step at a time.. no rush. i dun want to mess it up ever.. Maybe.

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

I see your true colors..

they say in life, u win some, u lose some. life is all about balance and no one can win all the time.. how true these words are.

Win:
1) I received my confirmation letter today. 6 mths of hard work finally bore fruit. now i will proceed on to work even harder to achieve what i want and to build a name for myself.

2) I also received my exams transcript. I have been awarded 2nd upper class from my uni. considering that i am constantly battling my sleep demons, work and coping with my social life and yet achieving a 2nd upper class, I'm quite satisified with myself. I have even gone one step further to think that i can achieve 1st class but for now, I am satisified..

Lose:
I think the care for me is no longer there, if not, its no longer strong enough for me to feel it.. you are really heartless to me.. because of your personal reasons which i deemed selfish, you've chosen to forsake my love for you and take the easy way out. life is all about the easy way out i guess.. i hope you dont have any regrets.. i hope that i dont have any regrets.. i really hope..

in life, besides win and lose, there is always a catch, a secret prize which is hidden from your side and will only reveal itself at the very end.. perhaps the secret prize for me is coming soon.. i can only keep my fingers crossed...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Till the day my life is through, this i promise you......

its so surreal the feeling sometimes.. i cannot describe it.. sometimes you made me so real.. but sometimes you seem so far that i'm unable to feel and touch you.. stop torturing us and let me know how you really feel.. why reject the feeling when both of us know it should be the way.. the way we both want and yet you so consistently fight against.. i am becoming disillusioned.. just hope that you can face up to your real feelings..

however, as i said, i will respect your decision always.. no matter wat..~

Richieously Yours,
Richard

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight, Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight...~..~

Friday night.. the old me would be out chilling with my frenz and drinking the hell out of nothing.. but now, ever since i move on.. i've been good.. leading a good boy's life.. perhaps too good.. i think being good reaps no reward.

perhaps its time i revert back to my old self? is it time.?. i ask myself.. i really need to sort out my thoughts.. wat is becoming of me.. haiz. right now I'm feeling quite low.. happiness index certainly at a historic low.. all these events that happen to me.. i dun think i deserve it.. something must be done....

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

1 Litre of Tears~

Yes.. I had a heart to heart discussion with my boss.. overall she is satisified with my performance and she has confirmed me, saying that i have the potential to lead my own team in future.. I am delighted. but she made one comment at the end of my appraisal..

she say that because of my boyish looks, ppl dun take me seriously and i need to build up this part in order to improve on my "branding".. I checked up the dictionary and this word implies the difference between a "man" and a "boy".. Its not my fault that I look boyish or baby face.. its the way I am.. what can i do.. But overall I'm glad to be confirmed... 5 months of hardwork is all worth it when I hear my appraisal..

ok enough about my career.. no matter how successful i am, somehow i feel that a part of me is missing.. the missing part is someone to share all my joy and achievement.. life is fair i guess. u lose some, u gain some.. but i dun want to admit that.. not me..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

You passed me by and your heart as cold as ice.

it has been a hectic day for me as usual.. tomor is my confirmation discussion with my Manager and wish myself luck that i would pass her assessment... :)

anyway back to today's topic.. my colleague told me that I can charm alot of gers with my outlook.. but a big question mark ? still hangs over my head.. I can be considered moderately successful.. I'm not considered too ugly looking.. but somehow my luck with gers i like always fall short.. is it because i flirt too much or my eyes waver too much? i dunno.. thats me however...

anyway, i take it as a hint of compliment but I shall remain modest, after all, i am not having much success with gers.. *ponders*

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,No promises.

I'm back to blogging again.. now I'm addicted to penning my thoughts just like last time.. its a way to let my feelings known when i find it hard to express to people about my thougths.. today i shall talk about my thoughts on the word "Believe". It is actually a very powerful word which drives me on everyday.. and i still believe in the word "Believe"..

recently i've understand another layer of meaning of this word.. although "Believe" enables you to achieve the things you strive for, it is very often at the expense of others that sometimes it can hurt the other party.. so what you believe to be true in the first place might not be so true after all..

I'm rather impressed with myself that I can think of such "chim" meaning but well, thats me you know.. always full of surprises..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Nothing left but pieces of you

i didnt realise my buddy hanjie left a comment until i came back to read my blog again.. haha.. didnt know he is still interested in what i'm writing here.. lolz.. anyway thanks i hope i dun lan ga again la.. very bad experience last time..

so i've been lazy again.. I've decided that i will write this blog only for my eyes and for my eyes only unless some stranger chance upon it.. which i doubt so.. ok.. so what am i going to write about today? I'm 25 years now. achieve a couple of things that my peers didnt achieve.. and yet I'm still not satisified.. i dunno why.. i have high ambitions and i feel frustrated if i cant achieve them.. the feeling SUCKS! thats why i constantly push myself to achieve the next level... sometimes its so bad for myself and I will feel so empty pursuing all these material pleasures... haiz.

recently a lot of things happen to make me realise that sometimes, certain things are not really beyond my means even though i try hard and believe I can make it work.. its like putting in all the effort and blood inside and still, fruits will not bear.. wat to do? life is all about trying, its really all about trying...

yes.. i'm back to blogging after mia for a long long time... haha.. a lot of things happen during 2008.. i bought myself a car.. change myself a job.. well 2 big moves in my life.. hehe.. but i'm glad i made the moves because so far it has been justified.. I told myself that i will get my first car at age 25 and i did it.. i've changed my job from UPS to ST Electronics.. another step for me.. well wats next? seriously I've no idea and thats life really.. to quote it from the forest gump movie : "Life Is like a Box of Chocolates... You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!"