ok.. to blog about my batam trip.. actually this is only my 2nd time going travelling with my frenz.. the first time is with my army guards frenz and we went to bintan. this time is wif 2 of my best frenz from sec sch Gary and Berd. i think i really deserve this trip.. i've been working hard for the past year and this trip is just great to de-stress myself.. ok i will let the pics do the talking...

Its been a while since i blog as i was busy with work.. nowadays, my knock off time is about 8pm average everyday.. its very unhealthy i know but what can i do... haiz. i will try my best as much as possible to achieve work life balance but all these is easier said than done.. but i will still try.. so i will recap here some of the memories that i have last fri.. after finish my company whereby my boss made me the Chief Event Planner again, i drag my tired body to meet up with the gers from my uni class.. despite spending 2 years in uni, i have more gal frenz than guy frenz.. quite unbelievable actually... anyway back to meeting the gers...


we meet to collect our grad gown first at a ulu studio in lavendar.. almost couldnt find the place if i never looked into the road map in the 1st place.. haha.. after collecting gown, rush off to boat quay to have dinner.. decided on having Italian food.. dun ask me why cos i got this review from Hungrygowhere.com which says its good.. to be honest, i think the food so-so la, except ambience is good..Its called Ricciotti.. sounds high class right.. anyway heres the place




The layout is kind of classy, but i must say the price is a bit steep la...



From (top-left clockwise) Joanne, Clara jie jie, Me, Cynthia, Pearlyn and Elaine

I think Clara's camera is quite good.. we look fab in this photo.. cant wait to see you gers again this sat during grad ceremony..hehe

after dinner, me and clara head off to JabOne fo 2nd round meeting Ziying and the gang.. not very familiar with them la but as i was invited, must be there to show some face rite.. lolz.. really a turning into a tired nite liao cos next day still have to go Batam with the gang and i haven packed..

NEXT Post: Batam Trip

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

recently heard this on a commercial that the tv is broadcasting.. i must say the advertisement is really creative and in the end promotes the values of family..but it is this little phrase that captures my attention.. 'little imperfections that makes life perfect..' i mean.. really? is it true?? i'm a perfectionist and i'm proud of it.. but one fren recently told me that being perfect is a kind of imperfection.. .I'm so confused.. all along i have been pursuing perfection in my life and then the truth hit me hard.. in life, nothing is perfect.. whether you are rich or poor, handsome or ugly, thin or fat.. watever.. nothing is perfect.. so why am i still trying so hard everyday to reach perfection... i wonder.......

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

ok. time flies.. its april now and it would be just 3 mths later for my 1 year stay in this co.. its scary that time passes by so quickly that u didnt even notice it..

anyway next week is one hell of a hectic week for me.. i'll be organising the company event next fri.. after that i need t o collect my graduation gown, go eat dinner with my frenz, after that have to meet another group of frenz to go party.. next morning (sat) i have to rush to harborfront to board ferry to go batam for relaz session.. packed... i like my days packed.. haha..

and after this coming week, my graduation ceremony will happen.. FINALLY! going to get my degree after 2 years of no life study.. lolz.. ok more on that later..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

thought i have recovered well from my wounds.. occassionally the memories will flow back and i will smile silly at myself.. alot of 'what ifs' begin to form in my brain..

what if i am courageous enuff.
what if you are willing to try it out for me..
what if we dun care abt matters and just embrace one another..
what if.. what if...

i know this post sounds silly but to me, life is all about what ifs... therefore i tell myself that i will not let what ifs stop me now from doing anything i want.. after all, life is short and we should not let ourselves down.. u never try, u never know.. what if...

Richieously Yours,
Richard

feel that i must really write this post so to disperse and say out loud all the feelings that I've hidden so well from work.. in front of my work and my superiors, i am superman and i can accomplish anything.. i am capable and trustworthy.. thats why I've been entrusted many tasks because my superiors know that if i'm the one doing it, i will succeed..

perhaps this is the high expectations i set out for myself that I am the downfall of myself.. i always aim for higher challenges but in the end i found that i'm actually challenging myself.. which is why i feel so frustrated if i cannot accomplish the task i want.. i have nurtured the bad character of not allowing myself to fail, even at the expense of my health.. i realise when i look at the mirror these days, my face expression is hollow that sometimes it scares me..

is the workload dragging me down? I told myself that I will never give up and allow myself to be dragged down like titanic.. no way its going to happen and i do all i can to preserve that... war happens again at dawn and i will brace myself for it.. but i will remind myself to take a breather and tell myself once again, i'm human after all, and not a machine..

recently i noticed that my anger burstouts is getting out of control.. i used to be like that 2 years ago.. whereby i couldnt control myself from bursting out.. and then i tone down, cool down.. until one of my very old frenz say the flame in me has died.. i dunno what changed me last time, perhaps i tell myself that i'm getting older and so i must control myself before i act...

unfortunately, i realise that the anger is slowly creeping back into me these days.. i dunno wat happen and i can become frustrated, impatient, angry easily and i would just burst out.. many times i know what i'm saying or feeling is rite but its the way i put it.. i will be very direct and i dun care abt other ppl's feelings.. in other words, i just shoot...

the old me is creeping back.. i dunno what is the catalyst but its back.. i cant seem to control it.. i need to breathe deep now.. tell myself to calm down..

yday i just told off a colleague of mine.. and the thing is, i dun feel any remorse... wtf.. i think she totally deserves to be told off... someone must tell her in her thick mind that whatever she has been thinking its right to do has to stop now..

okok.. i dun want to be the bad guy.. i will keep my anger in control.... for now..

oh no.. i'm one year wiser, not older.. i keep telling myself this.. ok i'm not scared of getting old actually.. cos it only mean i'm one step closer to realise my bigger dreams.. lolz.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

the title reads: "ok its been a while.." meaning its been a while since my last post... recently there is nothing special for me to talk about.. except that i feel the old me in my last job is coming back slowly.. which is a good sign because last time life was more colorful... haha..

ok there are a couple of movies i want to catch up..
1. Marley and Me. (ya i know this is cheesy but i like romantic films)
2. Suspect X (heard this is good)
3. Watchman (they took quite sometime to produce this movie.. it better be good)

a couple of things i want to buy:
1. A camera (my last free gift camera is not working!)
2. A bluetooth for my motorola Q9h (i just bought one at the IT Show)
3. A rolex watch (yupz.. i'm a sucker for rolex, i was thinking omega also not bad)
4. A pair of leather shoes (hugo boss will be nice.. but its going to burn a hole)
5. nice rims for my car
6. body kit for my car

ok let's do this one step at a time.. take it slow....

u received my sms.. u reply the very first instant, which has not happen for so long. i guess you are feeling happy and surprised to receive my sms.. maybe u are longing for it.. i dunno.. u say its nice i remember.. i dunno wat does it mean.. i dun want to read too much into it.. i dun want to guess anymore..

reality hit me.. its coming to 3 months already and u are still in my mind.. i shld let go.. deal with it and get on with life like a man.. i shld go out to meet more ppl.. no point harping on the past.. my rainbow days would come soon.. i guess..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

~ No Promises, baby now i need to hold u tight, i just want to die in your arms, here tonite..~

its 25 minutes to go before your birthday according to the time on my com.. i've been counting down.. even switch on my computer to type this entry even though my eyelids are heavy and my body is crying out to rest.. but i fight the urge.. my spirit is always stronger than my body.. and I've finished typing the sms in my phone.. just waiting to send out when the clock strikes 12.. am i pathetic.. i dunno.. i only know anyone would be happy to receive well wishes greetings on their birthday and u are no exception... so to make u slightly happy (i hope), i will do it..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

~ the only sacrifice in a relationship is a promise~

i have to face this.. i've been lying to myself for so long.. no matter wat happens, i know i would never forget u.. u are always the one for me. let fate work its cause i guess..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

i feel that i have to say this out else keeping in my heart will make me even more pissed.. I'm the type who will say what i have to say.. but as i grow older, i realise that this is not necessarily the best way as it will hurt ppl and in the end loathe me.. so why go thru the trouble.. but still i must have a place to say it out and blogging seems the least harmful way....

back to my current team.. there are really some 'colorful' characters in my team... all of them having their good and bad points.. i'm not saying whether my opinion of them is entirely correct but each to his own opinions and there isn't a right or wrong ans..

Mr R: the most senior in my team after my boss. the older colleagues have already warned me about his eccentric character and behavior.. at first i dun believe all these bcos i shld not pass my judgement just based on one sided view.. but only now then i realise this is oh so true..
-1st, he is scared to take responsibility.. a classic example is wat happen tday.. a Division Manger came and asked me who will be the 'head' when our boss is away on biz trip. I naturally reply Mr R as he is the most obvious choice given his senority and rank.. guess what is his comment.. "Richard ah.. you arrow me ar.. think you need to ask Jo**** to issue a letter to make me a head".. i mean what nonsense is this man? such a childish remark and he dare to say it out....i'm so disappointed with his remark.. cant he once be like a man and take up some real responsibility.. he is not here just to do the job but also take up 'some' responsibility like a man.. if such simple acts cannot be entrusted to him, i might as well get a office boy to do it rite.. it might sound harsh but my character is i cannot tolerate incompetent ppl among me.. yes you can be incompetent but if i can see the effort in u trying, at least thats not too bad.. but he is not even trying... dammn.......
-2nd, this is not the first time he is trying to siam.. many times when i make a decision bcos i think its trivial and i do not need to trouble boss, he would always say, ask boss first.. i'm like.. wat the f***.. if you are in a MNC US company, i dun think u can survive very long.. this is the effect of taking things easy and unwillingness to change.. you become stale.... I've being proven correct many times because boss trust me in making decisions and so there is basis to my judgement...

Miss C: Well initially, i click the most with miss c cos i find her friendly and helpful.. but as time pass by, i realise she is those emo type.. entirely unprofessional at all.. i mean what can i say.. in our line, u need to handle things objectively.. the number one enemy is to let your emotions run u and she is such a person.. i mean sometimes when i see the way she do things, i just cant help it but shake my head.. perhaps like wat i mentioned about Mr R, she has been stuck doing the same things for so long and that makes one short-sighted. she being the most disappointed of the lot bcos initally i have high hopes about her.. that could make my team strong.. seems like i was so wrong.. it also proves something right.. my first impression about someone is 99% wrong most of the time.. haiz..

Miss I: well well... i've given her a nickname.. she is Miss Mo..means she take things easy.. too easy in fact.. she is slow in reverting, slow in doing things, slow in coming to work, she is SLOW in everything.. I got suan her b4 one time and she didnt even get the hint.. she even dare say she wants to take things easy.. i nearly explode.. i mean your age is not really far from me.. can you have some drive.. seeing you work is worse than seeing an old man trying to ride a tricycle.. watever that means.. furthermore, she is unprofessional i feel.. no qualities of a HR professional..

Miss L: so far, she is the best performer among the team.. not bcos she is doing an exceptional good job but bcos she is finishing her duties. not much.. not less.. the effort just rite.. i dun blame her actually bcos she is a motherly figure and at this stage of her career, she just wants a simple life and i dun expect her to run with me.. therefore, i think the effort is just right..... see, i just want simple things, to perform your role right.. i dun think that is too much to ask for rite..

Me, myself is not perfect i know.. and who am i to criticise ppl. I'm not even god myself but this is just my sincere opinion.. i know that this team cannot run with me and i dun harbor too high hopes about them either.. but i just want all of them to perform their current roles in the most professional way. i dun think this is too much to ask for rite... God pls help, i dun want to be too critical but i just cant help it... i need a better team with able man to aid me.. i do not necessarily need to be the leader but at least dun let me have the feeling that i'm the only one here trying hard to be an inspiration to others.........its really miserable to work with ppl who doesnt share my passion...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

went out with Erin-sis for lunch today.. she say i look good in specs oso.. do i?? hmm.. maybe i shall try wearing specs now... for a change.. look more decent u know..lolz.

looking forward to my seminar on monday at changi biz district.. its been a while since i'm back to UPS.. i know nothing change but the feeling is not there already.. not the same anymore i guess.. the people, the building.. something is missing.. anyway, meeting jie jie for lunch and will pick her up.... Will I see her? or Will she see me? I wonder how would she feel if she saw me with another girl.. she doesnt really know bel is my jie jie.. will she react? I guess she wont.. she is too cold to feel anything......

specs or no specs lei?

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

~I wanted U~

next year.. i swear that it wont happen again.. not anymore.. god pls dun let it happen.. i promise i'll be good already... wat more must i do.. just let me know....

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

~ I hope U Dance..~

a breather from work which i think i duly deserves.. i've been working hard and being on course sort of distracts me away from work.. my mind has been occupied with work recently till i think i become some workaholic.. and i must admit i am getting 'old' as i feel tired 'faster' these days.. as in my stamina level has dropped.. i guess i just need to tell myself to stop pushing me too hard... my body needs a break! anyway.. here some random photos...

The Jets
You Got It All

I, I was a game he would play
He brought the clouds to my day
Then like a ray of light you came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the coulds disappear
Put all your fear to rest, Who do I love the best?

Don't you know, don't you know?
You've got it all over himYou got me over him
Honey it' true, there's just you
You must have been heaven sent,
Hearing me call you when out on a limb
And you're all that he's not,
Just look what I got
'Cause you got it all over him

No, don't let him worry you so
Once I met you I let go
Oh, you can surely see you're so much more to me
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You're better than all the rest
Who do I love the best?

Don't you know, don't you know?
You've got it all over himYou got me over him
Honey it' true, there's just you
You must have been heaven sent,
Hearing me call you when out on a limb
And you're all that he's not,
Just look what I got
'Cause you got it all (you've got it all) all over him (you've got it all over him, you got me over him)
Honey it's true, there's just you
You must have been heaven sent,
Hearing me calling you out on a limb

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

time flies.. its 3 full years since i work and then i realise that i've not had a good rest.. when i say good rest, it means i go abroad for holiday.. just laze there and do nothing.. yes i've not done that for 3 long years and i am surprised at my endurance.. finally, there is one trip coming up which i'm planning with my buddies.... we could be going to guangzhou in April and this time, i'm keeping my fingers crossed.. i really hope that this time, i can go... really....

btw, to the ppl living in shichuan, happy niu year to you guys.. i know its a bad year for all of you after that devasting earthquake and i hope you guys can get over it and live on bravely. hope to visit that place one day too as i heard abt the beautiful scenery.. Carez..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Niu year has finally arrived.. somehow i dun think it does affect me too much.. i also cant understand y some ppl want to celebrate it.. i mean is it even a good year to begin with with all the turmoil in the market now? i really dunno.... to me, its just normal.

ok.. finally on the topic: am I right to do this? the person who broke me msged me and emailed me greetings of new year.. usually, i would take the very first moment to reply.. but somehow, at this very moment, i stopped myself. i noticed she emailed me first.. i didnt reply as i wasnt checking my mails till today.. then she smsed me yday.. still i didnt reply.. do i sound petty? i hope not.. as her last words to me cut thru my heart just like a knife, i choose not to reply her. not bcos i'm petty or wat. i just dun want to start all this over again... till this very moment i can still control myself very well.. i dun want to spoil the momentum.. she can think watever she want of me.. petty guy, xiao qi..watever.. let her have all these negative thoughts.. i simply do not care anymore.. at least i choose not to care...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

~Broken Strings.. ~

its been a while since my last post.. getting abit lazy bcos work has been popping up here and there and like what my boss always like to say, it is a good problem because we still worry abt work while the market is in so deep shit that many ppl are without a job.... so i shldnt complain too much... anyway i love my job so if i slog, i would still be happy...

now more on the topic i would like to comment.. i just saw a documentary this morning on news.. its about ppl leaving their homeland and settle down in a totally different country.. and when i say settle down, it means finding a job there, start a family and have kids.. wow I would say i really take my hat off these ppl.. i mean they really have this courage.. and I notice that they are mostly ang mos.. i guess this is the way they are being brought up, independent.. unlike asians, it would be if not impossible for us to make this kind of decision.. i mean would you really want to give up everything you have here and move over to another country with your loved one?? i mean can you forsake your family, your frenz and everything you are familar with in the first place... i might not have this courage.. at least I'm not ready yet....

Richieously Yours...
Richard

~Who's that girl..