have u ever faced situations like you know you did not do anything wrong but somehow you dunno why ppl start to treat you coldly.. i'm facing this now.. somehow somewhere sometime something went wrong... the worst part is, i dunno wats wrong.. this is the 'best' cos its like you are being given the death sentence without a chance to explain yourself.. if there is a god somewhere, i hope you can really enlighten me..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

yday, while i was doing window shopping.. i saw an old friend.. well she looked different.. she did not see me. i still rem the days when she did not really had any frenz in the co. i would approach her and bring her out for lunch.. those days.. well she looked pretty good now.. girls really need to maintain themselves bcos somehow, they aged faster than guys.. anyway, back to her. she used to be the girl i like.. and still is.. somehow when i saw her, the feelings rekindled.. well, maybe this time it will last for another few days.. then i would forget again.. this is just me.. wat to do? haha..

ok this has been one post which I've kept putting off for a long time. I was kept busy and distracted by many things.. by the goals i set for myself.. by the many 'what ifs' in life.. some things I achieved, some things i did not.. well life ain't perfect.. I learnt a lot this year..

Lesson No. 1: Perfectionist
Yes I am a perfectionist. A 100%. However, this is also what I believe has been holding me back. In terms of career, I have learnt that you do not always get 100% of what you want even if you put in 100%. Next year, I will learn to slow down. I try to be kind to myself.

Lesson No. 2: Relationship
Yes, I achieved the goal i set for myself for Y2009. Be it a short one, yes I achieved. And I realised that I learnt and understand more about myself now. I always tot only myself understand me most. How wrong I can me. I really miscalculate on this part. Nevertheless, I now have a better idea. I am not ready yet. My priority is not this. At least for now.

Lesson No. 3: Money
Yes, I hate to admit it but I have to. I'm poor in managing $. Many times, I think I'm too obliging. I must learn to say NO. A great leader will know when and will say NO. Its hard for me but I'll try. There's nothing I can't do unless myself don't want to.

And so here I go. The 3 important lessons I learnt in Y2009. A proper closure I will say. Next year, 2010, it will be better.

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

my emotions were like a roller coaster ride.. time passes me by like it never exists for this 1 week.. perhaps i'm too caught up with so many tasks that i've forgotten time.. time is relative i guess.. ok here are some of the memorable events that happened during the week..

Cynthia's wedding
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ok that's it.. i attended her wedding.. there was a period of like 2 months whereby we spent our most happiest time together.. it was like we are inseparable.. doing things together, shopping, eating, karaok, chat.. we are like sticky glue.. for a moment, i thought there is a spark between us.. the chemistry.. i know she felt it too.. she knew it.. however just at that moment, we were too headstrong.. u denied it pretending nothing happening.. its my fault too.. i never try hard enuff.. i tot things will go my way.. how wrong i thought... i've been making so many error calls recently and somehow it wasnt me.. i wasnt like tat.. anyway, seeing her happily married, i wished she had found true happiness and i wished her sincerely nothing but the best... all that remains are the fond memories but it is enough for me..

Company event: Cross Country Run at MacRitchie Reservoir
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Recently i think i've been taking part in so many events whereby i lost count.. its squeezing out every bit of possible time from me.. i think if i switch to managing events job, i can be quite successful too.. lolz.. okay anyway this morning, i woke up at 6am to drive all the way to macRitchie.. i was the leader of the marshal team and some irresponsible people fly me plane and so instead of marshalling, i have to run 5km to jaga all the check points.. kaoz.. luckily, i still can run due to my regular training.. but i know my body is getting old.. i'm no longer the young ns boy who can recover from fatigue easily.. my knees and ankle have been giving me a lot of problems recently.. its hard to admit that I'm not young anymore.. lolz.. anyway, its kinda of fun and believe it or not, its my first time at macRitchie and I kinda like the place.. got Sharon to walk with me throughout so still not bad la.. she is tat kind of lady who craves for attention and care from a man but just too headstrong to admit this fact.. anyway, like the true gentleman i've always been, i did pampered her a bit la.. fanning her and carrying her heavy bag.. hope this makes her less complaining la.. lolz..

ok so far this week is a breeze as in time passes rapidly.. but cant everyweek like tat else i will die.. lolz..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

i felt compelled to write this post.. a lot of times, people misunderstood me.. they think that i always want to win, to be number one whereby they just want to have fun.. yes i admit.. i have an incredible will to win.. i mean really those insantiable appettide to win.. i just hate the feeling of losing.. i'm ultra competitive in whatever i do.. perhaps thats what make me different from most people.. to my notice, i realise that the people around me dun share this trait.. it seems that I'm unique and the only one who thinks this way.. when i made a comment, I have nothing personal against the individual.. i just want to win.. simple as that.. i feel let down by people who dun try hard enough like me to win.... To me, winning is the most important, nothing matters... i do realise that sometimes in order to win, you must experience losing... to me, that is crap..

i hope i am not being too hard on myself though..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

we were bbq-ing at east coast on a fri nite.. i was so worried that it would rain bcos it has been raining for a full day.. luckily it stopped in the evening.. to be honest, i was honored to be invited to the BBQ bcos i was the only non-upser.. lolz.. the guys still remember me lei.. it feels great to be belonged to the group.. these are all great ppl.. the great colleagues whom i shared 2 and a half years with.. anyway, i met up with Aru too. one of the nicest guys i met in UPS.. always giving me thoughtful advice and the fact that we are fellow man u fans makes us click even more...

the nite started quite well, with me and elston starting the fire.. actually got 2 memorable incidents happened that nite.. the first happened when me and cindy and the gang went to nearby macdonalds to wash our hands and toilet break of course.. while we are walking along the track, a dumbo skater was skating with his back.. he thinks he is a pro but obviously hes not.. anyway, when he was about to knock into cindy, as usual she is always too slow to react la...:p, i pulled her to my side.. it was like a hug like tat.. haha.. i think she got a shock.. lolz.. like those drama like tat whereby the scriptwriter would always arrange for the male lead to hold the female lead away from the accident.. well that exactly happened! she was speechless for abt 1 min before she muttered thank you.. 2 times.. hahaha.. i think she too pai sei la..

ok the 2nd incident is when theres a upser Ying Ying who actually dunno belina (i stop calling her zeh for sometime).. anyway so when Bel began to intro herself to her, bel asked whether she met her before in UPS.. Ying Ying gave a stunning reply that got the atmosphere cold.. lolz.. "oh ya, every morning, you always come with Richard de right..." it got all of us shocked including myself cos i never expected people to take notice of us.. actually most mornings when i still dun owe the car, i would call Bel to come and fetch me in the morning.. lolz.. well Bel sort of like stunned and i looked away.. ok it was awakward and luckily, someone changed topic quickly.. well this really brought back the memories.. but i know, its really a long shot that Bel and I can be together.. i guess, I'm just not her type anymore.. nevertheless, I would take things natural.. I think the more you care, the more you got to lose.. maybe acting a bit bochup sometimes will help.. i guess...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

here i am, on leave at home, listening to the heavy rainpour outside and typing this post.. my boss spoke about Negativity. Its a big word.. Negativity spreads, it inhibits one from performing.. its like a disease and so if u ever meet someone who is always negative, avoid him/her. u would not want to be infected and affected.. i am quite an optimistic person per sae.. i trust my gut feelings alot and always work based on my instincts and believe the outcome would be positive.. i guess i am a positive person.. but recently my doubts are shaken.. as i mentioned in my earlier posts, i found that things are not really working smoothly for me.. perhaps to some people, i should be contend with my achievements so far.. but i'm a perfectionist and it kills me.. i'm a control freak and it kills me.. these are all negative thoughts and if I dont purge them out soon........ i really dont know.. answers answers answers.. in need of some now..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

chanced upon a song which i really like during like my primary school days... its sung by someone who is better than acting than singing.. anyway, those days, CDs still not so in yet.. so everything is still in those old casette tapes, which gets mouldy aftertime.. anyway here goes, i still remember recording this song in the tape and sang along with it:

看着你慢慢地走过身旁
眼神中透露着一丝感伤
当天色渐亮却泪眼相望
我的错无可原谅
我和你走过的每个地方
都变成捆绑我记忆的墙
我无法抵挡也无处躲藏
这幕戏如何收场
我穿穿穿穿透了思念情网
却找不到地久天长
对我说的谎总和别人一样
谁欠谁还如何计算
我看看看看透了你说的谎
却斩不断情丝纠缠
该如何才能让爱找到方向
就算受伤也不会再迷惘

feel....

this week's theme for me is feel...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

my first company karaoke competition and I'm not a singer this time.. but a host! this is my first gig as host! feeling excited and nervous.. luckily, the management decided to pair me up with Catherine.. haha calm my nerves abit as I have a partner.. Catherine did most of the hardwork actually, typing out the script while i just gave my comments. but hey they were constructive ok.. the event was held at Cinelesiure.. i was really surprised to see so many supporters.. our people really come out in full force sia.. haha. somehow, i was surprised that I dun feel nervous at all, but rather Catherine was a bundle of nerves.. haha.. keep asking me whether i got memorised anot.. lolz. but anyway, she looked gorgeous in that little cute black dress she is wearing.. somehow i felt a bit guilty cos i promised her i would dress in something to "pei he".. but in the end, i choose to wear my denmin overalls.. the classic levis jacket and levis jeans.. i felt like a levis spokesperson whole day lor.. luckily, people say i looked shuai.. haha.. i am not too bad myself la.. ok here goes the show.

we have a total of 19 contestants.. so we have 19 songs to introduce to the audience.. the atmosphere is brillant and the crowd is rather 'high'.. all the contestants sang their hearts out and gave a really good performance.. Surprisingly, Catherine and me complement each other well..we kinda have that "mo qi".. ok finally the show ended.. phew.. and the winner is a guy who sang a hokkien song.. for me thats quite unexpected.. lolz.. not say he sing no good but i never expected hokkien song to be the winner.. haha...

well i've never expected hosting can be such a tiring affair.. this is indeed a good experience and i'm blessed to have a wonderful partner by my side.. thanks Catherine.. Later on we have the whole ballroom to ourselves.. we belted a few songs and my colleagues wanted me to participate me next year and say i'm a hidden talent.... hahaha.. maybe.. I'm looking forward to next year already... =)

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

i know i've not blogged for sometime.. its not bcos i'm lazy.. well partly yes but thats not the main reason.. recently just got bogged down by a lot of things.. worry about a lot of things.. its quite unlike me.. in the past, i used to be quite bochup.. but now as i grow older, i've been really thinking.. i've laid down a few plans and I hope to fulfill it next year.. i hope that i can succeed.

ok.. why I'm feeling lost? I also dunno, if i know i wont be lost rite.. its such a stupid question to ask..haha.. its just that I put in effort in doing things which I hope would bear fruit, and so many times it just fails me.. dun they always say if you put in enough effort, fate will find its way.. well how much is 'enough' i wonder.. it seems that i have defy logic about working hard and putting in effort.. wat an irony.. lolz.

from now on, i've made a pact to myself. i would never ever call you sister again.. cos i dun want to be just your brother...i want to be someone else, somebody else.. u once told me b4 that you find it hard to accept someone younger than you.. i sense that its not bcos you dun feel abt me. its bcos to you, age is a barrier. why is it a barrier to you i dun understand.. i wish i could understand but i just cant.

but i will try hard.. i know u will know how i feel one day.. i truly know...

Richieosuly Yours,
Richard.

i've been listening to this song dunno for how many times.. i first heard it from the TW Drama "Ai".. i think more than half of the Singapore population is watching this drama faithfully now every weekends.. i dunno what attracts me to keep listening but i just cant stop it..it just stirs the emotions in me..

haiz.. i dun understand y a simple matter is so hard to understand.. must we make things so complicated.. dun understand and dunno why...

why must u think of all these?? cant it be so simple.. i just wish things could be simple..........

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

recently i've been thinking to myself.. am i married to my work? i've being consistently putting in 8hrs a day in my work for almost everyday that its eating into my personal life.. i just cant seem to control myself.. i am a control freak.. if there is something to be completed on the actual day, i will do it and if i cant complete it, it makes a total wreck out of me... i told myself i got to take things easy.. its always my aspiration to climb the corp ladder but sometimes when you look back and down, a lot of things more precious r left neglected.. recently i'm thinking that i've been forgoing quite a few things that i forgot the simple pleasures in life..

this is not going to happen anymore... life is all about balance, the yin and yang.. i want to work towards that...






Richieously Yours,
Richard.

have u heard of the story of the penguins before.. penguins are actually quite romantic creatures.. at least in my view.. penguins are are devoted creatures. once they found their partner, the one, they would stick with the partner for life.. they would stay together in the cold, and start a family.. then they would lay the eggs.. the penguins would take turns to sit on the eggs to keep it warm, while one of them would take turns to go to the sea to hunt for food.. but what the other party dunno is there may be a chance that its partner would never return from the food trip... thats because there is a high possibility that the penguin would be eaten by sea lions and become the hunted.. if the penguin never return, its partner would wait forever in the cold and never give up..

I think this is really romantic.. but such acts are few and far in the modern world.. would you wait for the penguin...?





Richieously Yours,
Richard.

okay i have been lazy to blog recently because i 've been bogged down by my wisdom tooth surgery which I'm glad is finally over.. i knew this problem since last year but I have been deluding myself thinking that if i practice careful oral care, i would not have to undergo extraction of 4 teeth.. but nevertheless, the demons came back to haunt me.. until recently i have my regular dental checkup and my dentist told me that my back tooth is decaying, i knew this is it... so after undergoing surgery in a 2 week interval, and losing pints of blood (okay a bit exaggerating i know..), i finally got rid of the 4 stupid tooth thats causing me much misery..

i am now recuperating at home.. doing nothing.. doing nothing can be a bliss u know. to break free from work once in a while.. but i'll be back soon hopefully...

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

Chorus: cause i can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and i'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause i can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then i won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and i'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And i will give up this fight

Chorus: cause i can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and i'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't'cause i can't make you love me, if you don't

Bonnie Raitt

This song got me hooked up.. i think everyone should go listen it if got the chance..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

time flies, I left UPS for slightly longer than a year ago.. yet I've still managed to maintain close contact with my frenz there.. friendship is something that money cant buy, at least i choose to believe it this way.. it needs time to nurture. speaking of this, I'm quite disappointed with certain group of frenz who forgot this rule.. well i guess people move on, either in a right or left way..

i was thinking abt the days whereby life for me was a challenge everyday.. i have to juggle between studies and work.. there was never a doubt i cant handle it but i'm glad that i made it in the end.. i just cant but rem those days whereby i share with the gang.. although we have to constantly mug the notes and books, we do share times of happiness whereby we enjoy our little breaks of snacks and bo liao gossip. it was kinda of the good old days and i miss it a little. nevertheless, life moves on and these are just the little thoughts that add colors to my life..

Richieoulsy Yours,
Richard.

i just read an article in a magazine.. there are really 2 toys that a man would want in his life.. and that would be cars and watches.. its always like comparing who have the fiercest cars or biggest watches.. haha.. somehow i agree with this statement.. if its up to me, there are 2 things which i really like to own now...

Car: Nissan GTR aka Godzilla..
this is such a sexy car with a powerful engine that would definitely smoke all the wrxs and evos wannabes on the road..well it also costs a cool $250k.. lolz. dunno how long it would take for me to earn this obsecene amt of $ but i will work towards my dream.. i am such a sucker for cars.

Watch: Rolex Oyster Perpetual Date, "GMT Master 2" in Steel
okay i found this watch on the internet. i feel that every man should own at least 1 rolex.. its the da ge da of all watches.. of course i know there are alot more swiss brand watches which we never ever heard of and costs alot more.. but what the hell.. if no one hears of it, u wear one ppl would still think its a pasa malam watch.. so a rolex would fit just nice.. and the cost: a cool $7k.. and its second hand somemore lor.. kaoz.

ok work towards it ba..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

decided to name this post random.. thats bcos i feel like pouring watever i can think of in this post.. so let me think thru what i've done during the weekend..

Fri 19 jun 09
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Well, i met my old UPS mates.. we went to one jap restaurant named Honjin in the CBD area.. to be frank, I'm so totally not familar with this steel jungle.. its like a different ball game for me.. so i spend some time going round in circles exploring the busiest part of singapore.. i must say the road design there really needs improvement.. its so unfriendly for drivers bcos almost all the roads are one-way.. WTH... ok back to the UPS mates.. met up with belina, isaac, cindy, Elston and Brandon.. so long never see these guys already.. the dinner is so-so la.. ala-carte jap buffet but the food is like not so fantastic.. somemore at the end then i realise per head costs us over $60 bucks.. i was like....... luckily, uob card got 1-for-1 but i still think not worth it lei...

after that, i suggested we go Mandarin Oriental to chill. there is this lounge area whereby we enjoy our tea and cocktail and some liveband music.. whereby the drink prices are nothing but murderous.. its just like paying for the atmosphere and music tats all.. i wouldnt recommend to anyone seeking something economical.. its like committing a sin spending this obscene amt of $$ on something so normal.. anyway, guess we enjoyed the music and sipping the tea and indugle myself sinfully on the durian moouse cake.. lolz..

after that, its like 1am liao.. we still went to marina square to play pool and arcade.. had a fun time teaching belina how to play pool.. hehe.. but i must say shes a fast learner.. i can see signs of potential.. i am not that good myself in pool la but to "bian chi bian he" i am still okay.. arcade was like we really have nothing to do then play lor.. its quite bo liao actually.. well fri nites can be such a bore cos in SG, theres really nothing much to do at nite except club and eat.. kaoz..

ok, ciaoz. thinking tmr is monday is giving me all the blues liao.....

Richieously Yours,
Richard.