I just read an article in ST today which gave me the inspiration to blog.. It talks about how some Gen Y are leading a life of their own, and do what they want. And to think that I belong to the Gen Y groupie but I can't be like them. Life is a choice, thats what I often say and tell people. In actual fact, that is not true i know. Especially in this realist world. It's not always about yourself and your happiness and what you like to do. To me, to be able to do what you want is a luxury, not an entitlement. Sometimes, I can't help but be envious of people who are able to do what they want. Life is short, we should make full use. But a lot of ppl tend to forget life is also full of burdens. And we must be responsible. to be able to have burdens is a bliss, bcos there are more unfortunate ppl out there who worry about 3 meals. Therefore, I consider myself fortunate. However, I still hope that one day I would be able to do what i really want.. Would that day come, I will work hard towards it... =)

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

This is it.. after 2++ years, I'm finally going to embark in the next chapter of my career. It's a little sad to leave a place you are familiar with. the things i can't bear most is the friendship and relationships I've built.. I must say i made a lot of frenz and met some of the nicest colleagues. Well, as the chinese saying goes, there are no dinners in the world that won't end. So, I wont feel sad, but I would feel grateful. It's a privilege to be able to experience the journey with this group of people.

As for my mentor, all I want to say is a big word of THANKS. No matter what happens, I truly learnt a lot from you. You have taught me selflessly on what you know and I hope I have not disappointed you with my work performance. It has been a pleasure working with you and I would bear in mind your teachings always.

I wish you all the best. May you lead the team to greater heights, with or without me.

XoXo
Richard.

humans tend to make the same mistake over and over. we spend all our life chasing things that we want, often not what we need. I learnt to see things in a different light.. now i would take it easy. Though i still set targets for myself, I'm not pursuing insanely as before. if some things are not meant to be yours, it will never be yours. Fate will have its way. So never, just sit back, relax, enjoy a cup of coffee. for all you might know, beautiful things could be awaiting you just around the corner. Simply love the thought of it. :)

xoxo
Richard.

ok.. gone thru a series of disappointments. I would not say its a waste of time. In fact, i did pick up something from all these encounters. It has sharpened my thinking and made me see clearly on what I want. Therefore, I would keep 'fishing'. Eventually, I believe my patience will reward me. =)

xoxo
Richard.

Love the place! It gives me a very homely feeling.. moreover, enjoying a meal with someone i feel so comfortable with really gives me the delight. I'm sure the someone feels the same way too. Its just the instant chemistry. There wouldn't be one moment of awkwardness. It all seems like we know each other so well and have endless topics to talk about, be it work or life. And she is really one person I feel so comfortable. Even telling her my secrets which I feel so guarded means nothing. She just has this natural ability to bring out the natural goodness in me... Hope that we can have more such lunches... =)

xoxo
Richard.

I've grown to like my car as what it is and not what its going to become. Face it, its not going to turn into a porsche no matter how hard i dream it.. its just going to stay the way it is.. The recent rise in COE prices making car prices so obscene is not a bad thing after all. In fact, it made me realise to treasure the things we have in life instead of harboring false hopes for things we are not going to get. So I've said it. Hope that Xiao Bai will continue to serve me faithfully for the next 7 years.. =)

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

man.. i got to learn how to conquer my demons.. why am i still the same old me.. keep repeating the old mistakes and taking the same old path. I got to learn to let you. learn to relax. Stop acting Cool DUDE!!!! its not going to make things any better... Dammn.

Richieously Yours
Richard.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

Chorus: cause i can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and i'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause i can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then i won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and i'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And i will give up this fight
Chorus: cause i can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and i'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause i can't make you love me, if you don't

This is a sad love song by Bonnie Raitt.. very sad in a beautiful way.. I can't make you love me, if you won't. Love can't be forced, it takes 2 to tango. where the eyes meet and the hearts flutter. sadly, the feeling is not there anymore.............

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Watched yesterday match: Germany vs Argentina.. Seeing how the Germans worked as a team and tore the Argentina apart with their spirited display, I can't help but have my admiration for the germans. They are simply breathe taking and most importantly, i feel that they are playing for each other. No doubt Argentina has the best footballer in the world with the team, seeing how he not snuffed out makes me re-think my ideals.. All along I've always advocate individual brilliance to triumph over any obstacles.. The Germans have changed my mind.. I really hope that I can have the chance to work in a team like the Germans.. whereby everything would click and fall in place.. Ya~ i know this isn't possible especially in the office environment. Everyone just fight for themselves and I don't blame them....

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

well well. I'm experiencing the longest drought ever. Still actively searching for good opportunities but yet to find the golden one. The effort stretches from beginning this year till now. All I need is LUCK! I suppose i already have the necessary pre-requisites. I know how to present myself well. All I need is a little bit of mojo to move things forward. So God, do heed my pleas.. Let me land the big one! Keeping my hands clasped..

Richieously Yours
Richard.

When sis told me the news today, my heart felt a tinge of pain. I thought I have let go. But all along its me deceiving myself. I still have feelings for you. No matter how much I try to hide and put up a strong front. I hate this part of myself because whenever I do that, I become cold and stone face. People think I'm dao but on the contrary, I'm just wrapping myself up. So when I heard u got bullied and I'm helpless to do anything despite knowing I can do something, the feeling is torture. But I know you are a strong gal. You can face up the challenge no matter what and so don't let those ugly ppl defeat you. Whether you know or not, I'll be watching you from behind and if I know anyone who dares to even think about backstabbing you, rest assured that I would sure as hell show my most ugly side. The side I've concealed for a long time. The side only those closest to me know.......

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

recently.. I've become more moody.. I'm not sure why. I'm not laughing as much. even though I am laughing.. usually its just to hide my true self.. perhaps I'm not too happy with what I'm doing or having in life right now.. I know i know.. one must be contended to enjoy true happiness.. I'm asking a lot out of myself.. Luckily, I found myself having one indulgence that seems to perk up my mood no matter what lemons being thrown at me.. and that is ICE-CREAM! Its surprising that something cold and sweet is able to brighten my moody life instantly.. Thank god that someone ever thought of inventing this heavenly dessert....

Richieously Yours
Richard.

i've experienced many setbacks in life.. none too "life-threatening".. yes some disappointing ones but nothing as compared to the most current I've suffered under.. I've always deemed myself to be of excellence but this setback had brought me to my knees and brought me crashing down to earth once again... I really need to re-learn how to pick myself up and clean off the dust and start again. I wont be beaten.. I will always try again.. but i would take a break down I guess, to recuperate and set a few things right..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

life isn't so complicated afterall.. its not about driving flashy sports car, wearing the brightest blingz, living in the tallest building, having a vault with wades of bills.. sometimes it can just be as simple as having a simple lunch and a cup of teh with your a soulmate... yes someone you can really connect.. the simplicity.. simply priceless. recently, i had lunch with a good friend.. its not for too long.. 45 mins.. that's all. there isn't a need to spend hours.. quality of conversation triumphs over quantity... and yes i enjoyed it.. looking forward to our next lunch outing and hopefully i can bring you some good news.. it would be my treat. *winkz*

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Monday.. I dread it. Today its sunday and I'm dreading it already. Minimum effort, I will keep repeating this to myself tomorrow. Yes, I finally see the light. Wondering what took me so long. Well better late than never. I feel that it is a relief for me. the shackles are removed. No longer I would put my heart and soul in it. because it is not deserving. the work is not deserving.

Richieously Yours
Richard.

today was a sad day.. one of my best frens in the company had left for greener pastures.. she is one of the few whom I can really connect.. whom can understand the way i do things and for me, i can also understand the way she do things.. seldom ppl can connect with me on the working level and tats why its a bit sad.. she is the platonic fren who i mentioned in my last post... its kinda of wierd that even though our frenship is only about 1 year old, i feel that i can tell her everything.. i'm surprised at this too.. well we promise to keep in contact with each other.. her new workplace is near to mine and so definitely can meetup for lunch.. really hope the frenship continues.. that i would be contended.

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

we are platonic friends but I just can't help to think that if i ever have a wife, she would just be someone like you. I have no other ideas except the pure friendship between us because i know its impossible.. however i just can't help but have this strong feeling.. i really think that you are the best model example i ever wanted to have as a partner and i just hope that the next person who comes along in my life would be someone like you. that would be really good... but for now, I would just treasure our frenship and hope that it will keep going..

and so its really true that when one is down in love, his other side will be up, whichever side one can refer to.. recently i just experience this and i must say how true this is.. Anyway, I would keep working hard to realise my dreams and I'm a born fighter... Moreover, a man is at his most charming when he is working hard in pursuing his dreams..... =)

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

fallen sick this weekend. can't remember exactly when last i fall sick but this got to be one of the worst case scenerios.. i feel drowsy, headache, muscle ache, stomach pain.. seems like all the little problems cranked up in my body.. its been a while since such a thing happen and I happen to be quite fit actually.. but i guess the recent late nights i put in, my body had to pay the dues sometime.. i came to realise that I had worked myself to sickness!!!

there must be a stop. a balance. like yin and yang. boy and girl. but sometimes, i'm quite bad at telling myself to stop. to give in to the body distress signals.. but no, i'm too proud to give in and i just kept pressing on.. foolish perhaps, or maybe dumb..

i realise that I've been working my ass off for 4 years 4 months, without taking consecutive more than 3 days of rest, and less than perhaps 14 days of mc.. I have been bad to myself. sometimes, i just wish that i can give it all up and just let go, carry a bag and go wandering around the world..

but life doesn't work out this way. sadly u got to pay your dues first. whether you like it anot. all my life, i know i'm the type who cant stop, who cannot stop. i have to slog. but for how long? there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.. i wish there is a sign... a sign that i can acknowledge..

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

Ok its time to stop lying to myself and admit that i am poor with my personal finance issues.. just received my latest credit bill and i couldnt believe my eyes! i am so in red.. haiz. maybe its true that i must tighten my belt once more and stop the denial. ok, for that, i would still need to save a bit as my Vietnam trip is coming soon! Yeah!

Richieously Yours,
Richard.

I've just caught the latest episode of "3 dish 1 soup" and I can't get but comment that ladies who know how to cook look so attractive.. they say the way to a Man's heart is first thru' his stomach and how true that statement is.. upon seeing how the lady contestants wipe out those delicious looking dishes, i can't help but "add marks" to the report card. Too bad now the odds of finding a lady who knows how to cook a decent meal is lesser than striking toto,,, ermm.. maybe not so bad la. 4D sounds more appropriate?

Richieously Yours,
Richard.